A Compendium of Contradictions from Mike Ashley

The Chronicle Q & A

2011-09-19T10:57:00.003+01:00

The Chronicle recently submitted questions to NUFC on behalf of fans and printed the responses. The full answers can be read here. But I'd like to highlight some specific points made by Derek Llambias.

"We didnt promise to spend all the money in this window."

All the money? They hardly spent ANY of it. 1% of the transfer fee received has been reinvested in transfer fees.

Our wage bill this season will increase by seven percent as a result of the business weve done, including new deals for existing players. Assuming a tenth place league position, that gives us a wages-to-turnover ratio of approximately 65 per cent.

I'm almost certain this is a creative use of the facts. I believe he's saying 65% based on last years reported turnover, in the championship. Given that we've shifted Barton, Enrique and Nolan off the wage bill I don't see the new players or improved contracts being any more than that.

As a result of some of the things we’ve done in the past there will always be fans who will not like nor believe what we have to say. The upshot is that when we speak publicly more often than not we are criticised. After the statement I made last week, it was interesting to read comments from some supporters saying “I just wish they’d shut up!” Of course everyone has a different view, that’s football for you, which as we all know is a very passionate game.

Strange one this. He seems to accept it's down to things they've done in the past, but we've never heard of any regret from the club at all for how they've gone about their business. He clearly recognises they've been lying to fans, employees and the press but it strikes me that he seems to be saying the fans are being unreasonable in not getting over it. and not believing them now. I'm firmly in the camp that would prefer them to shut up, unless what they're saying is "sorry for everything, we realise the error of our ways, lets pull down some Sports Direct signs as a show of good will and move on".

Our long-term plan off the field is to make sure that Newcastle United is self-financing, which in turn will allow us to invest in the squad, our youth development system and our facilities, without having to rely on additional financial support from the owner. There aren’t many clubs in England who can hope to achieve that.

There's no clubs that would want to achieve that. Why on earth would anyone spend 5 years balancing the books....then go and build up £50m of debt in order to buy a top striker or two. It's like saying I'm going to clear my credit cards...so I can hammer them again. Either you're balancing the books for stability and we'll rely on the youth/facilities, or you're running a model of buying big to sustain success on the field....which can only be achived in that order. Clearly the former is the aim, and it's spin to say we'll invest in the squad once we're breaking even....resulting in us not breaking even.

This year we’ve set ourselves the target of a top ten finish in the Premier League. In the coming years we cannot compete with the financial strength of the top six. We have a realistic view of what we can achieve at Newcastle and how quickly we can achieve it.

So we're aiming for 7th-10th this season....and long term too. What we see this season is the hight of ambition, from the horses mouth.

We started our search the minute Andy Carroll left. The manager and our scouting team identified a number of targets very early in the year and we worked hard to secure those players as soon as possible. Unfortunately it wasn’t until very late in the window that negotiations broke down. At that stage we turned our attention to other available players on our shortlist. Many clubs live to regret knee-jerk business decisions conducted in the final few days of the window. Despite our best efforts unfortunately we were unable to agree the right deal for an additional striker.

It's an absurd position to take that they concentrated on one deal for 7 months waiting till the last day or 2 to switch targets, without saying "look, either do the deal or we have to move on" after 4 months or so. The idea they think this excuses the idiocy of such an approach speaks volumes about their incompetence, the idea they use the phrase “knee-jerk” about a decision they had 7 months to make takes it from the absurd to the hilarious.

Whilst it heralded the end of the Level 7 ‘singing section’, we didn’t want to create a new singing section elsewhere in the ground. We would far rather encourage a good vocal atmosphere around the whole stadium than in just one part.

By which I can only assume they mean they’d rather encourage no (anti-Ashley) atmosphere anywhere in the ground, than have a group persistently on his back. I’d be interested to hear the thinking behind this. If not anti-Ashley sentiment, what was it that changed their mind on how to generate atmosphere between the moment they came up with the ‘singing section’ and now?

Season ticket sales are actually up on where we were this time last year.

This might be true. I’m certain gate receipts will be well down though. The differentiation on this is key. Because seats that were £450 are now being sold for £100 to kids in order to achieve the modest attendances we’re getting.

From time to time we are approached by people claiming to have an interest in buying the club. Our message to them is clear: buy a box for a commitment of five-seasons and then we’ll know you’re serious. No-one’s taken us up on that offer!

What a joke. “Taken us up on that offer”? Any potential buyers (and people have approached them apparently) must spend 6 figures just to get into a room with them. And he says it like it’s an offer too good to be true.

He deserves credit for his financial support but a section of supporters don’t make him feel welcome at St James’ Park, or when he attends away games. Criticism is part and parcel of the job, abuse is not. This makes life uncomfortable and certainly doesn’t make Mike feel more inclined to put his hand once again in his pocket. That’s not stubbornness, it’s human nature. I think most of us would feel exactly the same.

If I’ve ever read a more pathetic paragraph then I don’t remember it. I thought Ashley was supposed to be a business man that makes the best of his investment. Not a schoolgirl who’s fallen out with her BFF. In most lines of business contempt from your customers is seen as a negative, you would usually take action to win them over, engage in PR moves that show you understand and want them to be happy customers. You don’t say “be nicer or we’ll serve you up some even worse product!”. What a terrible man.

The Top Ten Lies from Mike Ashley

2011-06-24T16:54:00.005+01:00

1. We did do due dilligence/We didn't do due dilligence

"We first heard about the potential sale on a Saturday and had done the deal by the Wednesday, so if you are asking if we did due diligence before buying then the answer has to be no."

"We did the typical due diligence one would do on a public takeover. There is no sense that anyone has tried to mislead us."

2. Newcastle fans assault children

"I am now a dad who can't take his kids to a football game on a Saturday because I am advised that we would be assaulted"

"We gave no formal advice to Mr Ashley about not attending Saturday's game. It is not our place to do so."
- Northumbria Police

3. Kevin Keegan was in charge of transfers

"We have started talking about who we will be bringing in and Kevin will have the final say"

The Club repeatedly stated that Mr Keegan did not have the final say but in the letter dated 4 September 2008 from Mr Llambias to Mr Keegan setting out the Club’s proposals for trying to dissuade Mr Keegan from resigning, Mr Llambias stated:-
“It will continue to be the position that no player will be bought for the first team without your approval, save of course for commercial deals (which we refer to as financials) which will remain within the sole discretion of the Board”.
-INDEPENDENT ARBITRATION (KEEGAN vs NUFC)

4. Wise Signed Bassong

“He [Bassong] was Dennis’. Pick your top five players this season and you’ll see that they were Dennis’ players”

“I came to Newcastle because my agent knew Kevin Keegan and my agent told him he had me and that I was a good player at Metz. Kevin had seen me play one or two times for France Under-21 and he asked my agent if I could come for a trial.”
-Bassong

5. Carroll wasn't for sale

"Players like Andy are the future of this club"

The Board and supporters are aware that Newcastle United currently has a footballing academy brimming with talent, skill and dedication. As part of Newcastle United's quest for a team that truly represents the values of the Geordie nation the club will look to promote, where it can, from within and for the academy to become a leading light as one of the best if not the best in the UK. The days when players such as Alan Shearer, Steve Bruce, Peter Beardsley and Michael Carrick had to leave Newcastle to begin their illustrious football careers elsewhere are over. Newcastle United is more than aware of the great passion for the game of football that exists locally and is intent on ensuring that every great Geordie footballer has the opportunity to play for his home team club.

"Andy Carroll has completed his move from Newcastle to Liverpool and has signed a five-and-a-half-year-deal,"
-Liverpool Statement

6. Hughton was secure in his job

"Chris is our manager and will remain our manager, and it is our intention to re-negotiate his contract at the end of the year"
-October - 11th position

"Newcastle United Football Club have today parted company with manager Chris Hughton. The board feels that an individual with more managerial experience is needed to take the club forward."
-December - 11th position

7. Sports Direct is a temporary St James' stadium sponsor

"We will showcase Sports Direct until the end of the season. I'm sure we're going to get a sponsor in for next season. I think the fans will see in the future that we do care.""
-Nov 2009

-June 2011

8. He spends more than the fans on the club.

“I have to put £20m a year into the club — I spend more than every other fan put together puts into the club each year.”

Amount of money coming in from bums on seats:

2004 - £33.9m
2005 - £35.3m
2006 - £30.9m
2007 - £33.6m
2008 - £32.4m

This is just matchday. Not including replica strips, tours, play on the pitch, merchandise etc.

9. He wanted Alan Shearer, even after relegation

Bringing Alan Shearer back to Newcastle United was the best decision I have made. Alan and his staff did all they could to try and keep us up in the short space of time they had. Talks are now ongoing between us about how we can take this Club forward again.

"We want him to be the manager 110 per cent, he's very good at what he does, and he's a straight talking guy – we like that. He'd be the perfect appointment."

"Do I care what Alan Shearer has to say? When he ran this football club we were relegated after picking up just five points from his eight games in charge."

10. The Carroll money will be reinvested.

"The one thing I said to Mike yesterday was, 'Look, if this boy is going to go, this money has to be reinvested in the team, all of it', and he has assured me of that. For the Newcastle fan, that is the most important message I can give today, that all that money will be used.

TBC

Running a Break Even Club

2011-02-26T09:20:00.003Z

I was always prepared to bank roll Newcastle up to the tune of £20 million per year... That was my bargain. I would make the club solvent. I would make it a going concern. I would pour up to £20 million a year into the club and not expect anything back.
Mike Ashley 14/09/2008

Mike wants to build something here but wants to build it in such a way it's not costing him £10m or £15m a year of his own money.
Alan Pardoo 25/02/2011

Which club ever built anything without any outlay? His earlier statement shows he knew what was required, stupid as it was to say it if he really wanted to sell (as he claimed at the time), like a muscle car salesman highlighting fuel consumption.

United For Newcastle

2011-02-18T15:05:00.008Z

United for Newcastle are the active supporter's campaign for improved ownership of Newcastle United Football Club.

They campaign for positive change, and stay within the realms of reality and practicality.

They have been able to get together with a club representative and chat about issues importanty to the fans. Here's their summary of that discussion.

Our meeting with the club was very useful.

We gleaned the following points:

- The club has guaranteed us they will, at very least, “look into relocating the singing section in another part of the stadium”, likely Leazes but they'll look at the entire situation.

- The increased away tickets are indeed due to having to comply with Premier League regulations, the minimum they can offer being 3,000. The reason the maximum away capacity is now 4,000 is simply for evening matches where it's on TV, and they feel they won't sell the stadium out, so they can offer more to away fans and hopefully make more money. In games like the Sunderland matches, they'll definitely not be given to the away team.

- The Carroll money will be reinvested, and the club are looking for more Tiote type players. Quality players that they can get for reasonable prices. Just because they have a lot of money, does not mean they'll splash out over the odds for someone. Everyone in the club is aware that they are light, and “strikers are a priority.” They've also pin-pointed several areas that need cover, and will attempt to acquire decent cover in the summer. They accept that they need better players in order to push for Europe.

- The club's ambition is to steadily improve. They want success on the pitch, but won't bankrupt to do it. The apparent stinginess is simply Ashley's way of doing things. The club now breaks even every month, and isn't taking loans out. They want to be in good shape for the UEFA rules on finances for when they do get back into Europe. Wherever they finish this year, next year they will aim to better it.

- Much of the club's investment goes on behind the scenes. For instance, apparently they are going to (or have) under-soil heated the training ground for the winter.

- The club have offered Enrique a new deal, and will sit down with him to discuss. Whether he wants to sign or not is up to him. They have a wage structure, with a cap which they wouldn't confirm the amount of. Enrique's deal will be within that structure, but 'fair' for the structure that's in place.

- The club confirm they are not a selling club, but as with any football club, every player has their price. The only other circumstance in which they'll sell is if the player says they want to go. They don't want anyone who doesn't want to play for the shirt.

- The club have confirmed they want to hold on to the likes of Barton, Coloccini, Enrique and Tiote, but admit it will be a “difficult summer”. The club suggested that it's a testament to their progress that people actually want to sign their players now, unlike during the relegation season when half the team wouldn't have been touched by another club.

- The club's ambition is steady, sustainable progress that aims for Europe.

- The club insist the 10-year season ticket is a good deal, with the option to opt out at any time. There is no catch. The club has updated their ticketing system so all customers can now pay with direct debit which wasn't possible before due to staff limitations and technical limitations. Even if the club reaches the Champions League in five years, those prices will be the same under the deal.

- The club accept their communication has been, at times, insufficient, and we suggested they look to put more information on the official club site. The club said they gave lots of information to newspapers and media, but accepted that they could not control if it was published. We suggested that in order to rebuild trust with the fan base, they should go above and beyond the call of duty for a while, in order to rebuild that support through transparency and integrity. The club said there would still be “situations they would not comment on”, ie. Carroll leaving, since they have their stance and won't get drawn into an argument on it.

- The club accepts that “mistakes have been made in the past, and says that mistakes are still likely to be made in the future”. But that is ‘human error’, and everyone in the club has one aim: success on the pitch, and that is the long-term goal.

- With regards to SportsDirect sponsorship, the club insist that money does go to the club from SportsDirect, and since Ashley does not own SD but is merely a majority shareholder, it is not simply a case of moving money from one pocket to another. The club does benefit.

- The advertising on the Gallowgate roof and the dug-out seats is to advertise the stadium's potential for advertisers. When pressed for an example of when any of those packages have actually been sold to another company, they did not have one.

- The money that comes in from this advertising is all used to keep the club breaking even financially.

It was a productive meeting, with several points put across effectively from both sides. Unfortunately, the club would not confirm that they would take a strategy to communicate more effectively with any great enthusiasm however; they have promised to us that they will attempt to relocate the singing section rather than let it go. We hope that this meeting will help us form an effective relationship between us and Newcastle United, to ensure the voices of fans can be heard by the club on a regular basis.

United For Newcastle

This to me is the sort of thing I'd hoped NUST would do. We cannot buy the club, or run it, we can only strive to influence the owner and call him out on his mistakes.

Follow United for Newcastle on Twitter @UtdForNewcastle

Sign their petition to keep the singing section here

Could we afford to keep Carroll or not?

2011-02-11T08:11:00.002Z

Not everyone at the club is singing from the same hymn sheet on the sale of Carroll

"The fact is Mike Ashley didn't want to sell him, it's not like he needs the money is it? And remember we turned down bids of £30m and then £35m from Liverpool. That's serious money for a 22-year-old with only six months' experience in the Premier League. But finally Mike's point of view was the player's put in a transfer request, so what can we do?"
-Derek Llambias 2nd Feb 2011

"Ideally you would like to keep someone like Andy Carroll, a young player who is from the area, but financially we could not keep him. I like to think I have that ambition, and in two or three years, if we can sustain our Premier League status, and keep investing the TV money wisely, we can hold off that next bid. At the moment we are not in that position and we have to accept that."
-Alan Pardew 5th Feb 2011

Alan Shearer

2011-02-09T08:14:00.003Z

Stung by comments from Shearer questioning the sense in the £35m sale of Andy Carroll without another striker to replace him last week, MD Derek Llambias responded in typical schoolyard style completely at odds with his previous thoughts on the legend....

"We want him to be the manager 110 per cent, he's very good at what he does, and he's a straight talking guy – we like that. He'd be the perfect appointment."
-Derek llambias 26 May 2009 (After relegation)

"Do I care what Alan Shearer has to say? When he ran this football club we were relegated after picking up just five points from his eight games in charge."
-Derek llambias 2 Feb 2011

Andy Carroll's Going Nowhere

2011-02-01T18:30:00.002Z

This one is so blatant I hesitate to even post it, but what we said....

"Players like Andy are the future of this club"
-Derek Llambias 08/10/2010

"Andy Carroll was at the top of my list of questions because he needs to stay, this club has been crying out for another number nine and he looks like he's fitting the bill, so I made it very clear that he needs to stay."
-Alan Pardoo 10/12/2010

"Andy's career path is here, he just has to keep working hard. We have to have a big-club mentality and hold on to our best players."
-Alan Pardoo 21/12/2010

"It was good that Mike Ashley and Derek Llambias made that commitment that Andy is not for sale. I'm pleased about that. We won't be selling any player that we don't feel needs to be moved on."
-Alan Pardoo 06/01/2011

and what we did...

"Andy Carroll has completed his move from Newcastle to Liverpool and has signed a five-and-a-half-year-deal,"
-Liverpool Statement 31/01/2011

Chris Hughton, Still The Best Man For The Job

2010-12-06T18:26:00.002Z

At the end of October - when we were 11th:

"Chris is our manager and will remain our manager, and it is our intention to re-negotiate his contract at the end of the year"

Today when we're 11th:

"Newcastle United Football Club have today parted company with manager Chris Hughton. The board feels that an individual with more managerial experience is needed to take the club forward."

What changed?

Stadium Sponsorship

2010-11-16T09:57:00.004Z

Derek Llambias - Nov 2009

"We will showcase Sports Direct until the end of the season. I'm sure we're going to get a sponsor in for next season. I think the fans will see in the future that we do care.""

St James' Park - Nov 2010

The Schweinsteiger Deal

2010-07-14T14:20:00.005+01:00

A club source soon after Keegan's constructive dismissal....

"Jimenez and Wise were on the trail of Sami Nasri, Bastian Schweinsteiger and Valmiro Valdo at Espanyol. They just lost out on Nasri to Arsenal and Schweinsteiger turned us down, even though he was offered £70,000 a week."

The people on Sunday....

"Keegan had lined up a deal to take Germany star Bastian Schweinsteiger to St James' Park for just 3million pounds and a very reasonable, by today's standards anyway, 30,000 pounds a week. But Ashley would not sanction the move and Schweinsteiger stayed at Bayern Munich."

The story as I'd heard it was that Keegan agreed to sell Milner on the condition Schweinsteiger was the replacement. Whether it was Keegan, Wise or Jiminez that suggested going for Schweinsteiger, the result was the same. Ashley didn't deliver on his promise.

The club claim of Schweinsteiger refusing a £70,000 wage offer is the part I'd question above all else though. 2 years down the line he's still earning less than £50,000 a week on his new Bayern Munich contract.

To spend or not to spend, that is the question

2010-05-14T12:57:00.010+01:00

It's been almost a week since the club released the statement we've all now read. The one which says there's "no plan for new capital outlay on players".

Initially I didn't post about it because it was as much as I'd expected. We'll not be spending any money on players. Ashley wants at least some of his money back first. While I wasn't pleased to have it confirmed, I accepted "the club now feels that it is the correct time to send a clear message to its magnificent supporters who have kept faith with the club". I didn't really see any great contradiction between the content of the statement and anything they'd said before.

Then the club followed it up with a much shorter clarification to make "it clear that owner Mike Ashley is not looking for his interest free loan to be repaid, or to take any money out of the Club".

If this is the case then I'm afraid the numbers just don't add up and rather than making anything clear they've only muddied the water. There isn't a single fan i've spoken to who can fathom the owners intention.

They intend "to ensure that the club is run at a "break even" manner by the year 2015/2016". Initially I assumed they meant the club would be debt free. However the extra statement makes it clear that was not the intention.

Given that £37.7 million was lost in 2009 and £32.5 million is the expected loss for 2010, it's clear that the club intend to keep reducing yearly losses by about £5.4m every year to break even in 2016:

2009 = £37.7m loss
2010 = £32.5m loss
2011 = £27.1m loss
2012 = £21.7m loss
2013 = £16.3m loss
2014 = £10.9m loss
2015 = £5.5m loss
2016 = £0.1m loss

In order for the accounts to be signed off, Ashley will be forced to put the money into the club to cover those losses, every year. So by 2016 Ashley will have invested a further £81.6m.

However, with a clear statement that there will be no "capital outlay" on signing players, I can't see how such losses are projected.

In 2008 our accounts said Premier League TV income was £41m. The new deal is a 5% improvement on that.

The current Championship deal provided us £5m at best. Take away the £12m parachute payment and we'll still be at least £24m better off next season than we were last. Then you can add on any extra revenue from sponsorship, Puma and the two new kits that are about to be released (or is it three?).

The only way we can possibly lose just £5m less than we did last season is to use £20m of the additional income for something. Which leaves 3 possibilities

1. We'll spend £20m on players each season and Ashley will cover the reducing losses as turnover improves....but that contradicts the "no further capital outlay" statement.
2. We'll spend £20m on clearing the bank overdraft...but that only explains year one. Once that is paid there is no other debt remaining (other than to Ashley) so we should start to turn a profit ahead of plan.
3. We'll spend £20m on covering Ashley's loans....but why would Ashley put his own money in only to take it out again? That's basically the same as breaking even next year...which also contradicts the 5 year plan, and the statement that those loans are not being repaid.

Of course, my assumption throughout this post has been that the plan is based on staying in the Premier League.

It's taken me this long to realise the plan is to avoid a loss even if we get relegated back to the championship.

A plan for failure.

Ashley the Geordie Abramovich

2010-03-08T10:35:00.006Z

After leaking similar stories without putting his name to them a fortnight ago, Derek Llambias has been putting his face about on TV & radio for the past week and repeated a lot of the same nonsense in his program notes...

"If it wasn't for Mike's continued input... we would be in a similar position to Portsmouth. Let me set the record straight about Mike's commitment to Newcastle United, since the beginning of the season, he has pumped £25.5m into this football club and this week, a further £5m was needed. In addition to these amounts, Mike, realising the need to bring in new faces and back his manager's request, spent £5.5m in the January transfer window.

"This cash, as with all the funds that Mike has put into the club, is interest-free. This money is critical and is needed to cover the shortfall between what we bring in as a football club (income) and what we pay out (costs). As you will have read in the press, not all football clubs have such a benefactor and some are on the verge of bankruptcy or have already gone into administration.
"There are clubs from across the board that are struggling financially at this moment in time, and if it wasn't for Mike's continued input, I genuinely think we would be in a similar position to the one Portsmouth find themselves in at this moment."

£25.5 + £5 + £5.5 = £36m

Portsmouth entered administration last week after racking up debts of just £60-£70m and they're a Premier League club.

If we've racked up an additional £36m of debt in the space of a few months, it sounds like we're a lot worse off than they are. How can he claim Mike Ashley is anything but an unmitigated disaster? Just because the losses are out of his own pocket? It doesn't negate the suggestion from Llambias that we're currently losing money at a higher rate than at any time in our history.

They would argue that he came into a club in debt and losing £30m a year. This is not quite true. The club did lose £33m once in the year before Ashley arrived, but the average loss in the 4 years before the buyout was a more manageable £12.5m.

If Ashley's claims of £36m this season, in addition to the £120m last season are to be believed, that means the club now has £156m of debt (£86m on top of Shepherd's outstanding £70m). More than twice what it was when he arrived and more than two and a half times Portsmouth's catastrophic debt. The average loss for the club has been £29m per season in the 3 years since he took over. A club that was able to stand on it's own two feet is now insolvent.

Ashley signed the contract of every player at the club. Ashley increased the wage bill at the club from £62m to over £70m. Ashley sacked 2 managers that required multi-million payouts. Ashley paid an odious runt like Dennis Wise £2m a season to source talent like £5m Xisco. After wasting all that cash, Ashley sold for short term gain rather than retaining players that could keep us up and ensure tens of millions more income. Ashley went through four managers in one season. Ashley got us relegated.

Thank God he can afford to piss money up the wall, because he wouldn't have a clue how to run a football club.

I'll give Ashley some credit if he follows the examples set at Chelsea and Man City. If he cancels the loans and converts them into equity in the club. Because until he does, he's made a bigger hash of running this club than anyone could have imagined.

Ashley, The New Messiah Pt. 2

2010-02-26T08:03:00.003Z

“Newcastle United couldn’t survive at the moment without Mike’s money, it’s as simple as that.

If Mike and the banks weren’t willing to cover the cost of relegation Newcastle may well be in a Portsmouth situation. It is costing Mike £500,000-a-week this season to keep Newcastle running without making further cutbacks, yet some people are saying the club should be able to wipe its own mouth, that it should be able to run by itself with the income coming in.

“You can not lose £50m in revenue and expect not to have to take a hit, particularly when you have the overheads Newcastle have. The wage bill was reduced, but it’s still way too big for the Championship.”

First of all, why does The Journal continue to print these stories from the club without a source and without question? To give the men who have admitted they "intentionally misled the press, public and the fans of Newcastle United" this kind of platform even when they're unwilling to put their name behind the comments and choose to hide behind the guise of a "senior united source" is to let down the supporters that read the local paper.

We're all interested to hear the latest line in 'public relations' from Llambias and Ashley, but it should always come with the reminder that the sources have confessed themselves to be liars.

Onto the claims themselves...

“Newcastle United couldn’t survive at the moment without Mike’s money, it’s as simple as that." - This is remarkably similar to a statement made in December when 'a source' said "“Without Mike's input, the club would be broke. Simple as that." which I wrote about here and commented was like saying Josef Fritzl deserved credit for supporting Elizabeth Fritzl all her life.

"If Mike and the banks weren't willing to cover the cost of relegation Newcastle may well be in a Portsmouth situation" - Mike Ashley has given no impression whatsoever that he's "willing" to do any such thing. Like a rat on a sinking ship (the rat that gnawed through the hull) he's had the club on the market during almost every transfer window he's been at the club (or has claimed to have it on the market). He's often referred to his desire to cut his losses and sell up. Mike has been forced to cover the cost of his own mistake and nothing more. This is no act of altruism we're seeing. It's pure business. He knows this club is worth more than the current value he's dragged us down to....and a great deal more than Portsmouth who are a far smaller club with an average gate less than half the size of ours even in the league above.

"It is costing Mike £500,000-a-week this season to keep Newcastle running" - I'll bookmark this one until the accounts for the season 09/10 come out. We can't say either way at the moment but I doubt we'll post a £26m loss, given the halving of the wage bill, the parachute payments and having maintained Premier League attendances.

“You can not lose £50m in revenue and expect not to have to take a hit..." - Was this something completely out of their hands? Do they think we've forgotten that the man looking for sympathy here is the man that blew that income by getting us relegated?

Ashley Trying to Suppress the News....Again!

2010-01-20T08:44:00.005Z

Last week I mentioned the Sunday Sun article that informed us that Ashley and Llambias had taken a trip to Las Vegas. This was during the transfer window in which we'd been promised they'd be working to support Hughton and ensuring no players leave, even bringing in whoever the manager feels he needs.

The point of this post isn't to complain about inaction during the window, that can wait until February. But just an update on the work they've been doing so far this window - three first team players that were available for selection in December are no longer options for Hughton after loan deals for Danny Simpson, Marlon Harewood and Zurab Khizanishvili came to an end. Despite much paper talk of interest we have signed nobody and have only 5 defenders that have played a game this year (including Tamas Kadar) available for selection on Saturday.

Back to the point, which is to highlight the news from the club today that they have banned The Sunday Sun from the stadium...

Following an article that appeared as a back page lead in the Sunday Sun on 10 January 2010, healined 'Desert-ers Leave Toon', Newcastle United, having taken exception to the accuracy, tone, inference and content of the article, contacted the Sunday Sun to seek a full page retraction of the said article in the following Sunday's paper (17 January).

The retraction was not forthcoming in the manner requested and as such the Club have banned the Sunday Sun, indefinitley, from St. James' Park and the Training
Ground.

There are many thoughts that come to mind when reading this ridiculous statement:

If the article was inaccurrate why don't they sue?
Talking about suing, whatever happened to Ashley suing the Sun, as he promised he would, following the story last season about him partying into the early hours when Keegan was sacked?
So the stadium is still called St James' Park is it? Champion. I can't see anyone being enticed to buy the naming rights if even official statements don't refer to the commercial name though.
Newcastle United have NOT taken exception. Newcastle United is it's fans. Managers, players, chairmen and owners come and go but it's the same families that have been supporting the club and will keep supporting the club whoever holds those positions. I've not taken exception to anything about the article. I've not heard from any other supporter that took exception. What the statement should say is that Mike Ashley has taken exception. And not that the club have banned the Sunday Sun, but Mike Ashley has banned the Sunday Sun.
Are Dave Kidd and Alan Oliver still banned from the stadium as reported last year? There'll be more reporters banned than welcome at St James' soon.
If the Sunday Sun is banned does that mean I'm not allowed to take my Sunday paper of choice to the match any more?
I've taken exception to the accuracy, tone, inference and content of almost every statement that has come out of the club since Derek Llambias got involved. Can I expect to see a full page retraction of those on the official website or in the program?

Vegas And Bust

2010-01-11T09:20:00.006Z

Over a week ago Chris Hughton expressed his confidence in being fully supported in the transfer market by his paymasters.

"I'm Confident I'll be given the backing I need from the board. I've been told from above that I'll get the support I need or want."

I wondered at the time if Hughton has been paying attention to how his bosses work. Keegan, Kinnear and Shearer were all made similar promises that came to nothing, but Chris seemed sure that the owner had learned his lesson.

I dared to wonder if it might possibly be a different story this window too, with media tales of early bids going in for the cream of league one talent (whoopy fuckin do!), until I read yesterday how Derek Llambias has decided now would be a good time to nip off to Las Vegas with Big Mike.

I'm sorry I don't follow the US league too closely, but I'm pretty sure Vegas isn't a hotbed of young football talent. Whether the trip is business or pleasure it once again shows that the managing director and owner of our club do not see us as their priority and continue only to say what they want us (and the manager) to hear, but fail miserably every time it comes to taking action to make good on those promises.

Comical Decka Lie Generator

2010-01-06T10:26:00.007Z

The fine folks at Toontastic have come up with a ramshackle image generator so everyone can produce their own Llambias lies.

Click image to produce your own

For others go here.

Piss Ups And Breweries Spring To Mind

2010-01-05T08:27:00.003Z

It would seem it was premature to think the club was being run professionally enough to know anything about any Geremi deal....

FURTHER to reports in various sections of the media today regarding the transfer of Geremi to Turkish side Ankaraguca, Newcastle United wishes to make it clear that whilst there are a number of clubs interested in possibly acquiring his services, any talk of him leaving St. James' Park at this moment is extremely premature.
Geremi remains a Newcastle United player and has today linked up with Cameroon for the African Cup of Nations.

Ashley - Bob Carolgees He Isn't....

2010-01-03T21:38:00.005Z

Following on from this recent post where I wondered if we should believe Llambias who said:

“We don’t envisage anyone leaving in January"

comes the news that Geremi has today been off-loaded to Ankaragucu in Turkey only 3 days into the transfer window.

Just to be clear, I have no problem whatsoever with getting rid of Geremi as he's an expensive bench warmer. However, as predicted, it hasn't taken long for another public statement from the club to be exposed as a lie. A lie that will only be forgiveable if the £60,000 a week reduction in the wage bill secured by the deal is reinvested in the first team to ensure we can compete in the Premier League next year.

Again, I won't hold my breath.

Note for youngsters: Bob Carolgees along with his imaginary pet, Spit the Dog, spent 8 years as roving reporter for Cilla Black on Surprise Surprise.

Is That A Promise?

2009-12-24T12:39:00.003Z

“We don’t envisage anyone leaving in January because we want to make sure Chris has the players he needs to get us back up. Chris has given us things to work on in January in terms of signing players – and we are trying to make those things happen. We will have to see, but we want to help and Mike will put the money in to help if Chris feels that it gives the club a better chance of returning to the Premier League.”

Derek Llambias is starting to make all the same noises we heard before the last three transfer windows. We can judge him on this come February, but given the let downs in the past I'm sure no-one is holding their breath for now.

It's Official, Ashley Refused To Cut His Losses

2009-12-24T12:08:00.004Z

From Derek Llambias in the Boro match program:

"We did receive several bids that met the £100m asking price but, despite giving all parties involved our full support in their attempts to push the sale through, only two of those parties completed the due diligence process and reached the sale purchase agreement stage.
"Once those documents were in place, the necessary funding required to complete the sale of the club never actually materialised. So while there were bids on the table, when it came to the crunch none of the bidders actually came up with the agreed funds."

Given that proof of funds was a requirement of proceeding with due diligence, I think this revelation is interesting. Potential buyers (plural) were keen enough to to get the ball rolling, they had the money and on the surface seemed to think it was a deal worth pursuing, but given access to the books and following talks none of them saw the asking price as reasonable when push came to shove.

This suggests that £100m (plus whatever add-ons we've not been informed of) was unrealistic. Despite all the claims from the club of how much Mike Ashley had pumped in, how he stabalised the club finances, how he just wanted out and was going to cut his losses, he was still asking too much of several bidders that were keen to take the club on.

Rather than something to highlight in your program notes, I'd have thought putting potential buyers through the whole purchase process but refusing to budge...and then dropping the asking price to £80m a month later for a bloke that can't scrape it together...is not only going to infuriate fans but put off any buyers serious enough to go through whole process with you again in the future.

As previously posted. Mike Ashley never had any intention of selling, and does not intend to, at least until he has recouped his outlay. Any suggestion otherwise is simply more "public relations", and we won't be fooled by it.

Ashley The New Messiah?

2009-12-14T09:28:00.005Z

Quotes in the Telegraph on Friday attributed to "a source close to Ashley". When even a liar like Derek Llambias won't put his name to the quotes, you know they're going to need more than a pinch of salt to be taken with them.

There was nothing substantial in the story whatsoever only platitudes around what Mike hopes to do now that we look likely to win promotion. The transfer window opens soon and we'll see how serious he is about pushing on and preparing us for what will be a very difficult season if we do go up.

One line jumped out at me though...

“Without Mike's input, the club would be broke. Simple as that."

Which is like saying Josef Fritzl saved Elizabeth Fritzl. Without the food, heating and accomodation he provided, Elizabeth would have been on the streets. Simple as that.

I was interested to read Max Clifford's thoughts on Ashley. I know the man is an odious weasel, but if Ashley hasn't paid for his services he would be well advised to give it a go. As much as this blog might suggest I want rid of Ashley at whatever cost, I'd actually prefer him to run the club well, take a low profile and let the antipathy towards him mellow as he brings success. I'm sure this is how 95% of supporters feel too.

However, there has still been no indication whatsoever that this is likely to happen. The club continue to release stories (either directly or indirectly) that attempt to heap praise on Ashley as the man that has saved Newcastle. The cool head whose motives we fans cannot possibly comprehend...but will learn to once the glory days return.

It's all well and good apologising for getting us relegated, but it lacks any sincerity when you go on to claim that it's been the best thing that could have happened and most Premier League clubs would love to be in the same position.

I disagree with Clifford that promotion will win Ashley the support of even half the fans. The people on the stands want to see contrition. Not in words, but in deeds. He needs to do the equivalent of Jordan Price's 7 bush tucker trials in a row, and take his punishment in good humor to win any sort of backing. This means stopping the charm offensive, no more rhetoric about plans, no more excuses for the failures, backing down on the stadium renaming, taking down the sportsdirect.com sign every fan hates, hiring a chief executive with some experience in football, investing heavily in the first team squad without shouting about it from the rooftops and perhaps writing off some of the debt the club has to him, which he claims he would have lost had he sold the club in the summer anyway.

How to Succeed in Economics and Football by Derek Llambias

2009-12-01T17:12:00.009Z

Programme notes in Saturdays programme for the Swansea game from Derek llambias:

"You will of course be fully aware of the plans to sell the naming rights of the stadium and I would like to take this opportunity to explain our thoughts on this in order to appreciate and understand that it makes undoubted economic sense for the club.

"Firstly, to allay fears regarding the name of the ground, we will never lose the St.James' name. That is part of our history and heritage, a name that is known throughout world football.

"What we are doing, and Chelsea are following suit as I'm sure a number of other major clubs will do too, is bringing in more money to the Club which will go entirely towards the strengthening of the team - and that must surely be of benefit to everyone who supports Newcastle United.
"On Sky Sports recently, you may have heard local businessman and recent prospective buyer Barry Moat, endorsing the idea that naming rights need to be explored by saying 'if it gets the right players on the pitch and gives you the right entertainment on a Saturday, then where do I sign?' He understands that football is big business these days and I'd like to thank Barry for all his support."

I'm glad Derek took the time to explain that to us all. His big business brain is clearly working on another level to ours. We all presumed he was just doing it to wind up the fans, but it seems we couldn't grasp the real reason...he's doing it for money.

Now that the complicated economics have been explained to me I feel quite the fool for having missed it. In fact it gave me another idea. Why doesn't Mike Ashley promise to wear a hat with "cunt" written on it at the next game if the fans can raise £200,000?

If every one of us who was at the game on Saturday had chipped in a fiver each, he could have been in the papers wearing that hat the very next day.

To allay fears regarding the name of the owner, we will never lose the Mike Ashley name. That is part of his twattery and incompetence, a name that is known throughout world football and associated with abject failure.

What we'd be doing is bringing more money to the Club which could go nowhere near the strengthening of the team - but would cover some of Mike's losses and that would surely be of benefit to everyone who supports Newcastle United because he'll then be able to leave sooner.

"As you know, Mike made it clear after the end of last season that he was trying to sell the club and although there were a number of interested parties, none of them were able to match the £100million asking price."

Contradicts what Derek himself said in July "There have been more than two bids at £100m,"

"As a result, Mike decided that the best course of action, one that would put the welfare of the club at the top of the agenda, would be to remove the club from the market and concentrate solely on the aim that everyone connected with the club passionately desires - promotion straight back to the Premier League."

The club was taken off the market on October 28th, only days after Mike insulted every one of his 'customers' with the false claim that "I spend more than every other fan put together puts into the club each year." If Mike has the best interests of the club at heart, he really should stop slagging off it's main source of income.....and start making that "cunt" hat.

"His commitment is unwavering and the additional large sums of money he has recently pumped into the club amply demonstrate that."

Which large sums of money? Was there a fee involved with Marlon harewood i didn't hear about? Was the £25m of transfer income earned over the summer handed to an agent to ensure the best talent once we're promoted, like magic beans on the never never?

"I would urge all supporters of this truly great football club to come together, get behind the team"

42,000 fans did exactly that on Saturday, and have done all season. There's no need whatsoever to urge it.

"Whatever grievances you may or may not have, put them to one side for the benefit of seeing Newcastle United regain their position in the elite of English football."

"When this stadium is packed and in full voice, there is nowhere quite like it, and if we can stay positive and get right behind Chris [Hughton] and the players, then hopefully we can stay at the top of the Championship and win promotion at the first attempt."

"Mike and myself are here to do our absolute best for Newcastle United and with you on board, we fervently believe we can deliver a successful football club for you to take pride and joy in."

Why would we need to put grievances to one side? We support the team fantastically, they're playing well, we're 8 points clear of the play offs, we take pride in our performance on the stands and the players take pride in their performance on the pitch. The players hate Mike Ashley as much as the fans do and would join in with "fat cockney bastard" if they weren't concentrating on the game.

Commited To The Future, Selling Our History

2009-10-28T11:55:00.004Z

As predicted, Mike Ashley has announced he's not selling Newcastle United and is "totally committed". This is the second time he's made this announcement in less than one year so don't hold your breath that it's permanent. Promotion back to the Premier League would no doubt see the club back on ebay with a starting price far greater than the £80m - £100m touted over the last four months.

The NUFC website says:

The Club had been trying to broker a deal with a number of prospective buyers in recent months however none of those deals came to fruition. With regard to the possible sale of the Club to Barry Moat, that particular bid has now fallen through due to the cash price of £80m not being met.

This confirms what we already knew. The statements from the club stating categorically that the asking price had been met by several groups and that a deal was days away can now be officially added to the growing list of examples of the club ‘repeatedly and intentionally misleading the press, public and the fans of Newcastle United’. The whole embarrassing process has been an exercise in 'public relations' which only serves to cast entirely warranted doubt on the rest of the claims made today:

In confirming the news, Mike Ashley stated that he is totally committed to the future success of Newcastle United and will be focussing on gaining promotion back to the Premier League. Mike will put a further £20m into the Club this week.

Unless evidence of this investment is seen in January (or sooner) we should assume it’s completely false.

"We are delighted that Chris has accepted the post of full time manager. He has done a terrific job this season and we wish him every success for the rest of this season and beyond. He will continue to receive our full backing and support."

Continue to receive their full backing? Pre-season Hughton was allowed to bring in three loan players no-one else wanted and a free transfer we let go last season who couldn’t find another club in the meantime. To suggest the owner has done anything whatsoever to assist the new manager is ridiculous in the extreme. He has done nothing but hinder the manager by depleting the squad to maximise income.

Whilst confirming these two matters, Newcastle United now aims to move forward on and off the pitch. The Club aims to maximise its commercial revenues; this includes renegotiating its Club sponsor and kit deal, which expire at the end of this season, as well as welcoming offers for the stadium naming rights for next season.

This is the killer paragraph, the one that Mike Ashley and Derek Llambias would have had a good old chuckle at while they composed it. This is a disgusting move on behalf of an owner twisting the knife having stabbed the fans in the back repeatedly. Lip service is paid to moving forward on the pitch, but we will see no action whatsoever on this front. They are bereft of ideas. They do not know football. They refuse to improve the squad and will use any income the club has to satisfy their own debts. It’s only off the pitch where they have a plan. That plan is to sell our heritage to the highest bidder without any consultation with the fans whatsoever.

Mike Ashley Soopafan

2009-10-19T10:11:00.004+01:00

Another batch of quotes from Mike Ashley appeared over the weekend. Once again they're embarrasing half truths and misrepresentations the club would call 'public relations' but the rest of us call 'horseshit'.

First of all he said:

“Barry Moat has been driving me mad for two years. If he wants to buy the club, he’s got a one-off opportunity to come up with the cash — £80m upfront.”

This has led to a rush of headlines across the sporting media:

"Mike Ashley cuts price of Newcastle United" - The Times

"Ashley reduces asking price" - Sky Sports

"Ashley puts £80m price on Newcastle" - The Independent

I'm sure i'm not the only one that will be questioning the leap of logic in these reports. Mike Ashley has said he wants £80m up-front. Not £80m. There is no doubt in my mind his asking price includes future payments. The portrayal from todays press of Ashley as a man willing to haggle down to a more realistic price gives him undue credit.

He went on:

“I have to put £20m a year into the club — I spend more than every other fan put together puts into the club each year. If you can’t pay upfront to buy the club, you can’t afford it.”

We'll have to wait a few more months for the accounts to be released to see if there's any truth in the £20m every year claim. The last set of accounts did say £20m was pumped in during his first season. It came in the form of a loan, which is STILL outstanding to be repaid to him. I don't think I'm due back any of the money I've ploughed into the club.

More importantly, it's an outright lie that it's more than the fans "put together" (I refuse to say "other fans" like Mike has presumed to). Before you get into pies and pints and strips (3 new this season) and stadium tours and cup games and a host of other ways we invest, just on match tickets alone we're only slightly short of overshadowing his yearly 'investment'. Our average attendance is 40,801 at the moment. Estimating conservatively at an average of £20 a ticket over 23 games, that's over £18.75million of income per season.

Strange also that he derides buyers who "can't afford it". This is the man who has reiterated with every public utterance since he arrived the financial cost of taking on the club. He's constantly moaned about the level of investment required, he's already taken it down to a championship level of investment and seems to be determined to go further (see below) and he has the gall to complain that it's other people that can't afford it. If anyone can't afford this club, it's demonstrably Mike Ashley.

The most frightening thing about Ashley's delusion though is how it is going to go on hurting the club. In one breath he says:

"I never said I was an expert in football clubs. I tried my best. But I accept my best was woefully short."

And with the next:

"if I keep the club I will have the final say on players."

A self confessed dunce when it comes to football matters, who's shown over two years that all he can do is take us on a downward spiral, is still insisting he's the one to identify which players we need.

Get out of our club
Get out of our club
You fat cockney bastard
Get out of our club

Not for Sale

2009-10-09T08:46:00.009+01:00

26 May 2009 - Derek llambias
"We want him to be the manager 110%, he's very good at what he does and he's a straight-talking guy – we like that. He'd be the perfect appointment. Talks will start today and we are going to review the situation. We are trying to sort something and we'll give the public some information as soon as possible. Alan has put a lot of work into the job at Newcastle and we're talking to him now."

30 May 2009 - Mike Ashley:
"It has been catastrophic for everybody. I've lost my money and I've made terrible decisions. Now I want to sell it as soon as I can."

09 June 2009 - Club Statement:
"The board of Newcastle United can today confirm that the club is for sale at the price of £100million. Interested parties should contact Newcastle United (or Keith Harris at Seymour Pierce) for further details. The club will not be making any further comment at the present time."

10 June 2009 - Derek Llambias:
"There are three or four interested parties who we are talking to. They don't want to be known just yet. That is how we are trying to do business. That is the proper way to do it, not by talking through the media."

06 July 2009 - Derek Llambias:
"There have been more than two bids at £100m"

30 July 2009 - Derek Llambias:
"I can say we are very close to completing a deal and it could happen next
week."

06 August 2009 (When Barry Moat was revealed as a potential buyer)- Derek Llambias:
"We would love to be able to expand further on the sale and managerial position at the club, but we're very sorry we're unable to make any further comment at the present time."
22 August 2009 - Derek Llambias:
"'We're in negotiations with Barry. [The deal is] there or thereabouts."
22 August 2009 - A Newcastle spokesman:
"There will be an update on the situation on Monday."

Monday 24 August 2009 - Club statement:
"Newcastle United Football Club confirms that it has extended its deadline to Barry Moat to table an offer for the Club.The extension has been granted in order to allow Barry Moat and his advisors to conclude funding arrangements with Barclays, current bankers, for the continuation of last season's £39m facility.This would allow a formal offer to be tabled."

10 September 2009 - Derek Llambias:
"[The suggestion an official bid has been lodged is] not true."

10 September 2009 - Jonathon Brill:
"Discussions are ongoing"

19 September 2009 - NUFC Statement:
“The £100M asking price has been matched, however, we are still in negotiations and all parties involved are at sale and purchase stage.”

After 19 weeks and counting of propaganda (to be polite), lies (to be honest) and public relations (if you work for the club) it seems clear to me that Mike Ashley is not going to sell the club.

Like his closing down sale at Sports Direct in Eldon square, this is a perpetual farce created not only to excuse the shoddy product being hawked but also to suggest to the 40,000 plus fans that continue to fill Ashley's pockets that doing so is only a temporary measure.

The Truth Is Out There

2009-10-07T08:06:00.006+01:00

7 months ago I highlighted the lies perpetuated by Ashley et al around who had ultimate transfer responsibility at Newcastle and posted the facts that vindicated Keegan, so it's good to see that the sporting media have finally caught up with the rest of us thanks to being handed the facts via Kevin Keegan's legal action against the club owner.

Little of the information provided in the Premier League Manager's Arbitration Tribunal report came as news to anyone that is more than a casual supporter of the club so it's been a little strange to see the result being reported as some sort of great revelation that finally gets to the truth of the matter. Keegan’s impeccable standing at this club was never in doubt amongst supporters that knew the truth all along, no matter what certain members of the gutter press continue to twist his victory to mean (I don’t recall vitriolic opinion pieces like this when Sam Allardyce walked away from Newcastle with three times as much as KK for just 16 days more work).

So, what does the report tell us that we didn’t already know?

First that Ignacio Gonzales was a 'commercial deal' the club forced on their manager, apparently to ensure the cream of young South American talent would be coming to Newcastle in the future. It could be argued that such a deal would benefit the club and should be embraced...even if it is going to cost £1m. But which South American talent has the deal secured so far? Despite sharing a name with Pele, Brazilian youth Dionatan Nascimento failed to impress during his short trial, leaving the total at zero. I get the impression that these two agents could have offered Wise some magic beans as part of the deal and doubled their money.

Second, the letter sent to Keegan following his initial resignation was revealed to have stated
"It will continue to be the position that no player will be bought for the first team without your approval, save of course for commercial deals (which we refer to as financials) which will remain within the sole discretion of the Board".
How exactly is that supposed to constitute an ‘olive branch’ in any way? They've been shown to have given no ground whatsoever.

Finally, I recall what Llambias said during his Chronicle interviews
"we can't answer any questions on Kevin Keegan until we have made a settlement. At the moment we want to clear up some of our outstanding issues, because Mike would want to tell people everything including the KK case, he would want to say what was happening and that would shoot us in the foot. He knows that and he's the sort of guy who would sit and take a polygraph (lie-detector) test. And he means it".
It’s this recollection that made me laugh all the more once the ruling was published on the official website that the clubs accompanying statement was "The club will be making no comment on this matter"? It’s amazing, though not surprising, that as Llambias was making noises about honesty and communication, lessons learned and future openness he was fully aware they had lied in the past, they were lying as they denied it and they’d do a hell of a lot more lying in future.

Get out of our club.
Get out of our club.
You fat cockney bastard.
Get out of our club.

2009-09-03T21:52:00.000+01:00

George Caulkin highlights Ashley's "compendium of disaster"

2009-08-13T16:04:00.003+01:00

George Caulkin, one of the better reporters on all things Newcastle writing in The Game supplement for The Times this week gave me an idea for a new blog name:

"It has been a compendium of disaster."

The one good thing about the lack of any communication whatsoever has been a lack of lies coming out of the club.

An Apology....at last

2009-05-27T15:38:00.003+01:00

SEEING Newcastle United relegated from the Premier League has been a catastrophe for us all. I fully accept that mistakes were made during this and previous seasons and I am very sorry for that. I would like to say sorry to our magnificent supporters who have turned up in their thousands, home and away, up and down the country and who have given the team amazing backing throughout. And I would also say sorry to all of the Club's hard-working staff, who have goneabout their jobs all year long.

Bringing Alan Shearer back to Newcastle United was the best decision I have made. Alan and his staff did all they could to try and keep us up in the short space of time they had. Talks are now ongoing between us about how we can take this Club forward again.

-Mike Ashley

Unfortunately, there was no clarification on that last sentence. Are talks ongoing "again", as they were after Allardyce went, during the Keegan debacle, after Keegan had gone, and during every transfer window? In which case we can excpect a similar outcome. Or is he claiming that he's taken the club forward in any way shape or form previously?

Ryder on the Payroll?

2009-04-05T09:16:00.008+01:00

I've highlighted Lee Ryder's bias in previous posts, but his coverage of Shearer's arrival this week has been so pro-Ashley as to be comedic.

To be clear, I think the appointment of Shearer is an excellent move. Late in the day though it's come, at least it's a positive change that can only improve our chances in the remaining seven games. For this reason I've avoided pointing out the disparity in Kinnear's thoughts...

“Whatever happens, I will have an input. If I can't do certain things, I will be speaking to players and working at the training ground.”

which we heard even as Sky Sports News had already removed the "unconfirmed" bit of their story about the new manager, and days after Shearer had spent the weekend talking with the owner and Managing Director about taking over. Whether it was just the left hand not talking to the right, or a brag made while fully aware he was being marginalised wasn't important because Kinnear is yesterday's man (hopefully), and dwelling on his utterances no longer tells us anything about the improvements happening at the club.

But, the response to our potential relegation we've seen (and encourage) in no way excuses the shambolic efforts that have gone on behind the scenes this season, which left us on the brink in the first place. Lee Ryder of The Chronicle likes to think it does though, his reporting this week has been nothing but a glowing testimony for the people who got us here. One blog marks Ashley as a shrewd man with a long line of clever decisions behind him...

"Another Wise move from Mike Ashley?"

Sorry , who got Wise the sack? Mike Ashley has stood steadfastly alongside the poison dwarf for over a year as everyone inside and outside the club told him it wasn’t a workable “system”, and even if it was, an odious individual like Wise wasn’t the man for the role.

Even in the article that follows that ridiculous title, Ryder states that Wise going was part of the deal that saw Al arrive. Isn't it Shearer then, that deserves the credit for such a wise move? After all, we can only assume Wise would still be in a job if Shearer had turned down Ashley’s offer unconditionally.

Personally, I’ve read more into the circumstances of Wise’s departure. It tells me that although Shearer will work for them, he doesn’t trust those in charge as far as he could throw them.

In his press conference Shearer told us he accepted the job on Monday. Sky Sports ran it as a confirmed story on Tuesday, but it wasn’t until Wednesday night that the club confirmed it. Why?

I think it’s clear that Shearer would not take their word for it that Wise would be sacked. He wanted a press release that stated Wise was out and that there would no longer be such a role at the club BEFORE he would allow them to confirm his appointment publicly. He eventually got that announcement, and his arrival was then confirmed within an hour. Shearer knows how these people work and isn’t going to fall into the same trap that Keegan did.

Ryder didn’t stop there though...

"Shearer's return will keep Michael Owen on board."

How can anyone know that? Is Owen going to stay with us if we’re in the Championship? I’d have thought Keegan being in charge of a team that was now safe would be more attractive? Llambias insists Kinnear will be manager next year, so logically nothing’s changed in terms of Owen's contract decision.

"How many Ashley crictics will change their tune now Shearer has agreed to join up? His arrival should save Newcastle and while Ashley and Derek Llambias have been battered from pillar to post - where does it leave your feelings on the controverisal duo now?

I think it’ll just be the people you can convince Lee. Ignoring the fact that you don't spell check your work, there’s only so much Shearer can do with the poor squad he has, built by the system Ashley sanctioned.

To claim we’re now saved, and can look forward to Premier league football is the kind of sales pitch that Ashley himself would make. They’re the kind of statements intended to sell season tickets rather than being the informed opinion of a sports reporter worth his salt.

Despite acknowledging, that Shearer was the man who ended Wise's time at the club, he's now started printing retrospective articles claiming it's all been part of the plan

The Chronicle understands Wise had barely spoken with Ashley and managing-director Derek Llambias since before January, with Joe Kinnear assuming a recruitment role during the transfer window.

Lee didn't seem to think it was the case in January though when he wrote this story about Wise negotiating contracts with Butt and Ameobi. And Joe Kinnear thought Wise was running the show during the window when he said

“As far as I am concerned I am going to keep every single player we have got that I think can contribute to keeping us up in the Premiership. I'm not going to weaken my chances. The fact is I'm looking to add to the squad. It's as simple as that. I have explained seriousness of situation to Mike Ashley. That’s in Dennis Wise's quarters. He is the one wheeling and dealing, He is the one selling them. We’re trying to get funds back in and he is aware of the players I want. We are talking to a lot of clubs.”

This confuses me on so many levels. He's now suggesting Wise has had no involvement for three months, and had no involvement throughout the entire transfer window. If we ignore what's been said before and take the retrospective story as the truth (Ray Ryan at the Express did run the story at the time) then our top local journalist either didn't know, or didn't see fit to tell us? But that's neither here nor there, because if it's true, then whoever messed up the January transfer window so fantastically is still at the club. Which suggests the celebratory tone Ryder adopts in reporting Wise's departure after a "disastrous" time would seem excessive for a man who wielded little power within the club. Most shockingly when he relates an event that occured many moons ago, that he chose not to at the time.

I stood outside St James’s Park some months after Keegan’s departure and watched as a fan told Wise what he thought of the situation. Wise’s laughing-cavalier response to the young Geordie, just yards away from where KK explained to fans why he had sold Andy Cole in 1995, summed up why the ex-Chelsea man was never the right fit for a people’s club like Newcastle United.

Lee wants to lay the blame for all the clubs ills squarely at the feet of Dennis Wise, but whichever way you slice it, Wise was only part of the problem.

Another one bites the dust

2009-03-25T13:35:00.003Z

Following Dave Kidd, confirmation now comes that Alan Oliver has been banned from St James' Park too...

Newcastle, a club in turmoil on and off the pitch, have surpassed themselves by banning journalist Alan Oliver from St James’ Park just days after he received a lifetime achievement award for the dignified way he devoted a career to covering the team for the Newcastle Evening Chronicle for more than 30 years.

The highly respected Oliver, now a pensioner working for a Sunday newspaper, was the co-author of a story speculating on sidelined manager Joe Kinnear’s health — a fair subject on Tyneside — which upset the board.

Their ridiculous over-the-top reaction against a newspaperman who has written more positive paragraphs about the football club than anyone says everything about the buffoons running Newcastle.

Doesn't look like the transparency Derek Llambias claims to want to me.

NUFC disappear dissenting journalists

2009-03-22T19:06:00.002Z

People Sport reporter Dave Kidd wrote today how he has been banned from St' James' Park following a story he wrote last week on Joe Kinnear's health.

Is it just coincidence that Mike Ashley bought Newcastle a matter of months after Augusto Pinochet is reported to have died?

Show Me The Money

2009-03-13T21:24:00.003Z

In May 2007 Mike Ashley Bought Newcastle United for £134 million. At that time he also loaned the club £100 million (interest free) to pay off debts and he subsequently topped up that loan with another £10 million. £244 million in total.

All brilliant. Zero interest on those loans. No repayments until he sells up. It makes excellent business sense for the club. And it's been his proudest soundbite ever since.

It started in January 2008, eight months after he arrived when we were told

"I want a team that will go all out to try to give Chelsea a walloping, that will try to stuff Tottenham and that will be brave and bold enough to attack Manchester United, to date I have invested £250m to try and make it happen"

"To date" suggests more is in the pipeline. However, when Kevin Keegan later said it wouldn't be enough he got called down to London for a slap on the wrists as a result.

Keegan walked eight months later, prompting Ashley to repeat the figure, it was more of a sob story than a proud boast this time

"Before I had spent a penny on wages or buying players, Newcastle United had cost me more than a quarter of a billion pounds."

Glossing over the fact £244 million isn't actually more than a quarter of a billion, it sounds to me like he's suggesting there'd since been a need for more to be invested on top of that. He'd gone from bragging about the money he'd paid to push for Europe eight months earlier to bemoaning it as the level of investment needed just to start off. But it warmed my cockles to think that had just been the start and he was ploughing more in to push us on.

Alas it wasn't the case. Today we're two months shy of Mike's second anniversary and the MD has been on a charm offensive, speaking to anyone who'll ask him a question. He told Mick Lowes on Radio Newcastle

"He put £250m into it and will continue to go down that route"

He told Lee Ryder of the Chronicle

“He’s now in for £250m and he is still going to have to invest going forward."

And meeting the NUSC he rather curtly told them to

“Just print that we paid £250 Million for the club”

Which all suggests nothing else has been invested or loaned in almost 2 years since he took control.

It's a bit disappointing after Ashley said

"I was always prepared to bank roll Newcastle up to the tune of £20 million per year but no more. That was my bargain. I would make the club solvent. I would make it a going concern. I would pour up to £20 million a year into the club and not expect anything back."

Who's Buying ? Part 2

2009-03-06T11:17:00.008Z

Snakehips over on Toontastic has highlighted this quote from Sebastian Bassong in todays Times.

“I came to Newcastle because my agent knew Kevin Keegan and my agent told him he had me and that I was a good player at Metz. Kevin had seen me play one or two times for France Under-21 and he asked my agent if I could come for a trial.”

This directly contradicts the claim made from up on high that Dennis Wise had done all the moving and shaking on the player who's turned out to be our best summer signing.

“He [Bassong] was Dennis’. Pick your top five players this season and you’ll see that they were Dennis’ players”

The common consensus has always been that Bassong and Guthrie were Keegan buys, everyone else being identified (and perhaps pushed through) by Wise. This had led to much confusion when Llambias claimed

“Xisco was Kevin, don’t believe everything you read in the press”

Bassong's clarification serves to cast doubt on Llambias' claim (as if it were needed).

Ministry of Propaganda up and running

2009-03-05T09:16:00.008Z

On February 25th Lee Ryder of the Chronicle reported that Derek Llambias had taken part in a fans liaison meeting also attended by members of the NUSC. The following is a full list of the quotes used by the Chronicle without any contextualisation.

"We want to be solid competitors at the top. That’s the way we’re going. We aim to be knocking on the door again.”

“We’re sorry about the lack of communication, we know we’ve made mistakes. We were guarded to begin with but we’d made the decision to keep a low profile and got it wrong.

“We didn’t realise the backlash of KK, it was so huge and we were waiting for things to calm down. That didn’t happen. But I am more than happy to communicate with you. This is a passionate club and we don’t want to change that. We aim to use the local Press and supporters’ panel meetings to keep people informed.”

“We have plans for the club and we are taking it forward. When we took over we had repair work to do and holes to fill. That has been huge step. We didn’t think the club had any foundation, there was a poor Academy and we are now building for the future.

“We’re not neglecting the club. We felt during the transfer window that we needed to add to the squad and we did. We were lacking spirit and we feel that adding Ryan Taylor and Kevin Nolan has addressed that.

“The club has built up a structure for the future. We have a grid that is made up by the manager and it highlights the areas we need to strengthen. We pinpoint a player and then we go out and look at him.”

As a recently joined up member of the NUSC I later received an email which in addition to the above quotes contained several more quotes that the Chronicle had not used (I cannot link to the email, but it has been copied in full here). I have removed the context as I did with Ryder's article above.

"We're still paying for some of them now, we won’t clear the debt for those players as it will take us until 2011”

“The club makes £100M a year in revenue of which 76% goes on salaries”

“Just print that we paid £250 Million for the club”

“Xisco was Kevin, don’t believe everything you read in the press, Gonzales was a...well, I won’t go into that because we’ve still got legal issues there”

“If you bring Dennis Wise into this room what are you going to get? I just mean he’s not very popular”

“Pick your top five players this season and you’ll see that they were Dennis’ players. All those players are Dennis’, they’ve been picked...sorry, Dennis has brought them in...with the knowledge of the manager”

“We never wanted to lose Shay, we made that clear from January, whatever the price they offered. They came in with £3M and we politely told them to go away. Somehow Shay got it into his head that he wanted to move on because he wanted to win trophies. City then came in with a £5M bid that we rejected but then ...when a player decides they want to go it’s very, very difficult. We offered Shay a new contract that would take him to the age of 39 but that wasn’t good enough. Maybe we could have matched the contract with City, which we just couldn’t afford”.

“Once they came in with a £5M bid we then looked at their team. We tried for their right back, Michael Johnson, Elano on loan to get the deal that suited NUFC. Unfortunately it was difficult. We got £5.9M plus add-ons, not paid until 1st of July. We asked Man city for £15M thinking they would just go away but they got away cheaply, was it good business on our part? Not really ‘cos we never wanted to lose the player cheaply”

“Our commercial side is important, we’ll be out there from March trying to bring in better sources of revenue. Our revenue on retail is down because the economy is suffering, our revenue on food and beverage, we’re quite happy with that. We’d like to expand our brand and we’ve taken on commercial directors”

“Do we need to spend £200k a year on PR? We did have a PR agency, they’ve just been fired”.

“Let’s make a comparison with the rest of the league, everywhere is down other than the big boys”.

“If we are short 3,500 seats that is reflected everywhere in the North East. People are struggling to pay for tickets

“it would cost more than £12 (per person) in administration to [return the vat on season tickets]”

“All they (those who signed for 3 years) were doing was guaranteeing a frozen price”.

“If I could tell you the number of top class manager’s banging on my door right now...Top, top”.

It seems that the email has caused some consternation. Many people have argued that the tone the author adopted was too strong. Lee Ryder was clearly unhappy with it in a blog piece yesterday. He had no issue with the quotes used, which he admits were "on the whole accurate", but was clearly irked by the claim that the local journalists arrived with the Managing Director, and at one point nodded in agreement.

So, in all this mess, we are left discussing the context rather than content. I've purposely avoided putting my own spin on any of this up until now, because I think the quotes and how they were used in each report paint a clear picture themselves of exactly where the chronicle and NUSC stand. One is reporting the facts to it's members (perhaps with a bit more passion than some find tasteful), the other is feeding us the propaganda.

Worrying comments made by Llambias that were reported accurately have found their way into the public domain only thanks to the voluntary work being done by the NUSC. Comments that the Chronicle has failed to report in over a week despite having a paid presence at the same meeting. I think The Chronicle should take a look at their policy because they've clearly not reported impartially a good deal of what was said by Llambias.

The NUSC was worth the tenner to get this sort of thing in the public domain alone, if the "journalists" at the meeting didn't think the fans would be interested.

To paraphrase Stephen Colbert, it seems this is how it works Ashley makes the decisions. He's the decider. Llambias announces those decisions, and the people of the press type those decisions down. Make, announce, type. Just put 'em through a spell check and go home.

You can join the NUSC here.

Communication Breakdown

2009-02-22T11:41:00.007Z

“We’ve made a conscious effort to go out and meet people. That’s partly to promote the club, but also to hear what they have to say, making this a club that they feel a part of. I spend a lot of time walking around the city, just to get the place under my skin.”

The words of Chris Mort in November 2007. It was a refreshing thing at that time, to have a chairman meeting regularly with fan representatives, discussing where the club is and where he wants it to be. As a customer relations exercise it was perfect, and suggested those in charge knew how to keep us happy. Some might have thought it was going too far showing up down the Bigg Market to get a round in, but far better to be drinking with the chairman, than have him in Marbella calling wor lass a dog.

It wasn't to last. In June 2008 Mort stepped down as chairman and the replacement figurehead at the club was Derek Llambias as Managing Director. Before he bowed to pressure and gave an interview to the Chronicle and Journal recently, Llambias had only spoken publicly twice. He gave us some platitudes on the day he started - as an aside, they included this corker

"I firmly believe we have the right people with the right expertise, with Kevin Keegan back as manager and being fully supported by Mike Ashley and the directors, to take the Club forward again."

I don't know Llambias' definition of "fully supported", but it clearly differs from Keegan's.

The other time we heard from him was when rumours abounded that Mike Ashley wanted to sell the club, and he felt compelled to nip those stories in the bud.

“At a time when everyone at Newcastle United is working hard to prepare for the new season ahead, it is annoying that we have to continually correct inaccurate newspaper stories. Whoever is putting these stories around is clearly trying to destabilise the club and you wonder what their motives are for doing this. By putting a new management structure in place this year, by investing in new signings at first team and academy level, and by introducing cheaper tickets for our younger fans, the long-term commitment and vision for Newcastle United is there for all to see. Those actions speak louder than any words and I’m sure supporters see these stories for what they are - utter nonsense.”

Those stories may well have been utter nonsense, but as he says himself "actions speak louder than words", so let's look at each of those actions he's so proud of in retrospect:

Put a new management structure in place - didn't last very long did it?

Invest in new signings - since taking over, Mike Ashley is roughly £2M in profit on transfers.

Cheaper tickets - credit where it's due, cheaper tickets are available , I wonder to myself if they would be if we could manage to sell out the stadium regularly, like we used to three years back though.

Speaking even louder though has been their inaction. Rather than taking any positive action, Mike Ashley chose the 5-1 defeat by Liverpool to say

"I am the first to accept there have been times this season when you would have liked to have heard more from me direct, particularly at certain points. There have been reasons why I have not have been able to do that, but in the new year we will look to communicate with you more about what we are doing at St.James' Park, be it through the club's official website, programme and magazine as well as the wider media.”

I thought January was the new year, but towards the end of the month as another Ashley promise failed to materialise, Joe Kinnear was rolled out to let us know it would be happening later rather than sooner

“Mike is going to speak to the Press when the window shuts."

This was strange. Rather than reassure us early on that they’d be taking whatever ACTION was necessary in the window to halt our slide and guarantee Premier League survival, they chose to wait until it was too late, with the promise they would use WORDS to explain to us what we could have found out by reading a newspaper…we sold more than we bought, making money on some of our best first team players, we got no cover at left or right back, and remained short of pace in midfield. Their actions spoke volumes.

Since telling us that he understands we want to hear from him “direct”, Mike Ashley still hasn’t said a word in public. But in mid-February, Llambias spoke for all those in the board room in a four part interview in which he apologised for mis-communication and promised things would be different.

“When Chris Mort was here he was very proactive with the Press. When I came on the board, Mike and I discussed it and we basically wanted to keep a lower profile. Then within no time at all KK happened. And then it just got worse and whatever we said got worse. So we decided to keep as low a profile as possible, get on with our business plan, move forward with what we were doing with our management team and to assist whatever manager was coming in as best as possible.”

As a fan who picks the bones out of every utterance coming from the club and highlights any inconsistency I can find, I still cannot accept the excuse he provided for the deafening silence. There were 3 months of virtual silence before “KK happened”. Upon arrival, without saying a word to explain why, Llambias decided (with Ashley) to put a stop to the communication that had proven effective. What work Mort had put into creating a bond between the club and supporters, they decided it wasn’t worth working on any further. They cannot blame either the KK saga or any misrepresentation of what short statements had been made (which were taken at face value at the time) for that decision, as much as they’d like to.

However, now we’ve got through the misrepresentations in what was said, I will agree that following Keegans departure, whatever was said only make it worse. Not because communication is bad per se as they seems to believe, but because the faceless statements released via the official website were cursory, semantics arguing, excuses at best. Rather than showing strong leadership in troubled times, stepping to the fore to take the flak and ride it through with positive steps to put their plan back on track, they hid behind carefully worded lawyer speak.

I admit that I look to use what they say against them, I have an agenda, but it was far more difficult to do that when Mort ran the show because he was very personable and he always came across as being frank both in presentation and content. There was little contradiction between what he said and did that I could see – the due diligence post is as close as I’ve come.

As much as there has been a clamour for Ashley and Llambias to talk to us, I’m afraid that once it happened, to steal a phrase, they failed to find the “correct tone”. Describing some of your most loyal customers as “a small group given more credence than they deserve" displays a shocking contempt for the people paying your wages.

As does underestimating the intelligence of every customer to such a degree that you believe you can sell over £30million of first team players in six months and then claim "We are not a selling club”.

Or offering Joe Kinnear a two and a half year contract (despite his management record being second only to Ossie Ardiles in terms of failure to win points) and then claiming he’ll have us on the road to “challenge for everything within five years”.

Actions or words? I know which I think speak louder, it would be a start if the club could just get what they say and do to match. I find myself wondering if it is propaganda or if they're actually delusional enough to believe that Kinnear can set us on the path to Champions league qualification. I'm not sure which would be worse either.

Who's buying?

2009-02-20T14:04:00.004Z

Transfer control is a contentious issue at the club and has been for much of the past year. Fan fears that Dennis Wise would be interfering with Kevin Keegan’s vision when he was appointed Director of Football back in January 2008 were quickly allayed by the man himself.

"I'm here to help Kevin, bringing young players through and also recommend certain players to him, he'll say yes and no, he has the final word, no-one else. Everything that happens will be run past him. I'm not going to bring players in behind his back - I'm not into that. A lot of people have got mixed up with the reason why I am here. I'm not here to be involved in the first team, I'm not here to manage. I have to concentrate more on the academy, we need some young blood coming through of our own. We need to look abroad for players and that's my intention over the next few years."

Then in May, just before the transfer window opened Chris Mort reiterated who was in charge

"We have started talking about who we will be bringing in and Kevin will have the final say"

But less than a week after the close of a transfer window that had seen a net profit of £2Million for our owner, the word “transfers” was conspicuous by it’s absence in a list of the managers responsibilities included on one of several statements released following KK’s departure.

"It is a fact that Kevin Keegan, as manager, had specific duties in that he was responsible for the training, coaching, selection and motivation of the team. It is a fact that Kevin Keegan was allowed to manage his specific duties without any interference from any Board member. It is a fact that Kevin Keegan agreed only to deal with the media in relation to Club matters relating to the Team and not to communicate with the media in relation to the acquisition or disposal of players."

That’s not enough to condemn them though. The NUFC stance is that Keegan couldn’t talk to the media about acquisition or disposal, but who’s to say that behind closed doors, his isn’t still the most important voice? Well, Mike Ashley is

I am prepared to back large signings for millions of pounds but for a player who is young and has their career in front of them and not for established players at the other end of their careers. There is no other workable way forward for Newcastle. It is in this regard that Dennis and his team have done a first class job in scouting for talent to secure the future of the club.
You only need to look at some of our signings to see that it is working, slowly working. Look at Jonas Guttierrez and Fabricio Collocini. These are world class players. The
plan is showing dividends with the signing of exceptional young talent such as Sebastien Bassong, Danny Guthrie and Xisco.

So despite earlier claims from Dennis Wise himself that he wouldn’t even be involved with the first team and that he was there to concentrate on the academy, now the owner had come out and admitted that Wise was instrumental not only in signing but also scouting five of our new first team acquisitions, though why he’d want credit for Xisco is beyond me.

The strange thing is, now that Joe Kinnear is in charge, his remit seems to be more wide ranging than the club are willing to admit Keegan's was. Kinnear has discussed several acquisitions and disposals at great length in the media. Notably, Joe was hoping for funds to buy Ebondo and Mbia on January 14th.

“We do need funds. It won’t be a massive amount, but I’m still hopeful Mike will release them.”

At the time it was alarming that Ashley hadn’t released any funds yet when we were already two weeks into the transfer window. Later it became plain confusing as Managing Director Llambias peddled the notion that the club were actually on the transfer trail long before the window had opened two weeks earlier.

“We started working on day one, from way before the window opened. We did try for another midfielder – Kieran Richardson – and we tried for Ebondo at Toulouse.”

Get your stories straight chaps, how are we to believe the multitude of claims around bids being put in for other players (Onuoha, Richardson, Johnson, Elano and Mbia) with such diverging flights of fancy behind your claimed interest in Ebondo.

Investment

2009-02-20T11:46:00.003Z

At the start of the season, in an interview with the Chronicle, Mike Ashley made the case for other investors coming into the club.

"I'd like to start with people in the North East because there are some great people who come to our matches who sit in the corporate areas, and wouldn’t it be great to have local backing for what we are doing? Some of them would talk to me last season and say, "Mike, is there an opportunity for us to come into the club again because we were shareholders in the plc previously?" I'd tell them we'd look at it at the end of the season as there was no rush but why wouldn't I welcome people who wanted to invest?"

It might just have been salesman’s patter, but he clearly states that there have been people asking him if they can give him some of their money, and that he refused them. Or at least refused to take their money at that time.

One month later, having started the plan of selling our most valuable players (with the exit of Milner) and not replacing them, Ashley justified the set-up as follows.

“I am Mike Ashley, not Mike Ashley a multi-billionaire with unlimited resources. Newcastle United and I can't do what other clubs can. We can't afford it.”

So what happened to those people who’d been asking to invest in the club?

Either:

They didn’t exist in the first place and he's a liar.
They did exist but Big Mike is looking to be the sole profiteer from the club. In which case he was lying about wanting others to invest.
They did exist and Mike has since gone back to them cap in hand only to be told they’re no longer interested (who could blame them?). In which case you have to wonder about his claim that there was "no rush".

The Shining Example of Others

2009-02-17T11:44:00.004Z

Mike Ashley and Derek Llambias have both told us the model they have in mind for Newcastle United. They have named two Champions League chasing clubs and justified their approach at NUFC by comparing our set-up to those.

First of all, in September 2008, Mike Ashley justified our transfer policy by comparing it with Arsenal.

"Arsenal is the shining example in England of a sustainable business model. It takes time. It can't be done overnight. Newcastle has therefore set up an extensive scouting system. We look for young players, for players in foreign leagues who everyone does not know about. We try and stay ahead of the competition. We search high and low looking for value, for potential that we can bring on and for players who will allow Newcastle to compete at the very highest level but who don't cost the earth."

No doubt, Arsene Wenger has brought in some fantastic young talent that he’s sold on at a profit. But the key to that is Arsene Wenger. Read what he said just a couple of days before the statement above was released.

"If I go into a job and someone says to me that you have a director of football who buys and sells the players, I accept or don't accept it. If I accept it, I cannot complain. I would personally not accept that"

The man has proven quality for bringing youth through at Arsenal, and he’s left alone to do it himself. He would not tolerate Dennis Wise or Jeff Vetere making those decisions for him. If he does take advice before deciding on a player, I wonder if he’d view our recruitment team as qualified to give it. We all know Dennis Wise’s history in the game and are perplexed by his appointment. He’s spent more time assaulting children than scouting them. But what about Vetere, maybe he’s every bit as good as Wenger, which talent has he spotted in his career?

Rushden and Diamonds - Andrew Burgess
Charlton Athletic - Grant Basey
Real Madrid - Daniel Opare

I’m sure these are able footballers, but they aren’t really proven quality up there with what’s been rolling off the production line at Arsenal are they? Vetere’s credited as a walking encyclopaedia by many (see links above), but most fans know someone like that, someone who wastes their life playing Championship Manager. We don’t believe it qualifies any of those people as premier league talent spotters.

The other point of consideration is that once the kids are through the door at Arsenal they have Arsene Wenger training them, a wise professor of the game, tactical genius and the man holding the baton behind some of the most gorgeous passing teams in the Premier league this past decade. They’re also playing alongside the cream of European talent. A kid coming to Newcastle will be taught by Joe Kinnear and play alongside Shola Ameobi, he doesn’t stand a chance.

Finally, and perhaps most importantly, while Arsenal have had this youth based model in place for many years, their debt currently stands at £318million, but that has not stopped them investing £88million in transfers over the last 5 years. They’ve not done anything on the cheap.

Which brings us to Aston Villa. In his recent interview Derek Llambias said

"In five years we would hope to be challenging for everything, we hope to be like Aston Villa.”

Ignoring the fact that even when he said it Aston Villa were not challenging for everything, Mr Llambias seems not to grasp at all how Aston Villa have found themselves in their current improved position. For years Doug Ellis ran a tight ship at Villa, only investing within his own means and as a result Aston Villa floundered in mid-table and the fans got on his back.

The turning point came with the investment of Randy Lerner who (even as a billionaire who has spent much of his own money) has left a £63million debt according to the latest accounts.

This didn’t stop him from backing his manager (without a DOF sat above him) with transfers costing £32million this season.

It seems to me that the MD and owner are telling us the big name clubs they’re setting us up to emulate, but their actions speak far louder than words and in practice the reticence to build any debt, the lack of ambition to sign any proven quality displays far more amply that they are actually setting us up like a newly promoted team. One that hopes to get lucky with a mid-table finish, but more than anything is planning for inevitable relegation, whether it comes one season or next.

It’s good to talk…but it’ll cost you

2009-02-16T13:23:00.009Z

This one’s not so much a contradiction, so much as expensively duplicitous.

Back in summer 2008 it all looked so rosy. Allardyce was out, Keegan was in, we were buying £10M defenders, Chris Mort was chatting regularly to fans both through the media and directly to popular websites and we were hiring opera singers to rattle the bones of Mackems with stirring renditions of The Blaydon Races. We were all heartened to hear things like

“Over the course of the year I’ve spoken to lots of fans about how we can improve things at St James’ Park"

And it seemed they might have. That quote came along with sweeping changes to the layout at St James with more space for kids, reduced rate season ticket renewals, and 3 year direct debits to help us all spread the cost.

So where did it all go wrong? We as fans are merely outsiders looking in so we’ll probably never be told the full story of Keegangate, but even if that sorry saga had not occurred, the story of the NUFC box office telephone number is indicative of the contempt which fans now seem to be held in irrespective of activities on the footballing side of things.

When the club changed the box office number from a local 0191 to a revenue generating 0844 it was done with no announcement and no explanation. Calling the old number now gets you through to an answer machine that provides the new number and nothing else. Call the new number and you’re told your call might be recorded and nothing else. Despite the club saying nothing, we all know this is going to cost us money right, but how much?

"01/02 phone numbers are used for everyday local and national calls and can be included in any free or discounted minutes on your tariff. If you don’t have inclusive minutes for these, you’ll typically pay around 4p per minute (ppm) peak and around 1.5ppm off-peak from landlines.Virgin Media charges 3.25ppm off-peak. Connection fees may apply. Most landline tariffs include free weekend calls to these numbers. Pay as you go mobile rates range from around 5ppm to 20ppm.”

So, at best your calls to the box office were previously free, at worst they were 20p a minute.

“0844 is a revenue-sharing number that is not included in 'free' or discounted minutes. Calls to 0844 phone numbers cost up to 5p a minute from landlines at all times of day, and typically between 15p (if you're a 3 mobile customer) and 40p per minute from mobiles. Depending on your network, call charges may be higher on pay as you go than on a contract."

Now your calls will definitely cost you something, perhaps more than 40p a minute. So let’s say I’m a contract mobile using season ticket holder who always knows what’s going on at the club, I never want to make any enquiries, I know when tickets are on sale and I only want to buy my away tickets. I’m going to average the length of a call at 10 minutes for the day they go on sale, though it’s usually longer than that.

10 minutes at 40 pence per minute = £4 per game
19 game’s per season at £4 per game = £76 per season

All of a sudden, that £50 reduction in season ticket price I got for paying 3 years up front isn’t looking as good as it did at the time. Even if you were paying the most it was possible to pay for your calls previously (on pay as you go), you’re still going to be at least £38 down just to be in a position to then pay for tickets, and that’s a conservative estimate which doesn’t include cup games, friendlies or the inevitable queries.

Mind, us season ticket holders should be grateful, everyone else is encouraged to buy a 12th Man membership for £30. That gives them the privilege of being able to call in advance of a public sale. So using the same calculation above you have to assume it could be costing them over £100 a season just to get into a position where they are able to buy a ticket.

The club don’t seem to deem this information worthy of being highlighted before asking you to use the new number. Even though the justification for it can easily be made. Clearly we should all start using their online booking system. It has been an excellent system whenever I’ve used it and can’t be recommended strongly enough. It’s entirely free too. Once everyone has started using it, half the staff in the box office can be sacked, more savings will be made at the club and it won’t cost anyone a penny to book tickets.

So why not come out and tell us this? Maybe it’s because those people without internet access would still have no way to avoid being shafted. It couldn't be that keeping us in the dark on this generates them more revenue for nothing, could it?

If you'd like to complain (about the cost of contacting the club or anything else), that'll cost you too. The number is 0844 372 1892 ext. 8475.

Not all customers have to use the premium line though, corporate bookings can still be made on 0191 201 8602.

Toon Fans Assault Kids...Apparently

2009-02-16T10:33:00.004Z

Mike Ashley has recently started coming to Newcastle games again following a hiatus that stretches back to the Hull game and the protests that surrounded it. The day after that game he explained his absence in a statement.

"I am now a dad who can't take his kids to a football game on a Saturday because I am advised that we would be assaulted"

No credible evidence of the threat posed against Mike Ashley and/or his family either at that time or any time since has ever been produced, at least not that I can find. In fact, following his statement police quotes not only directly contradict his claim

"We gave no formal advice to Mr Ashley about not attending Saturday's game. It is not our place to do so."

But go further in congratulating Newcastle fans on the peaceful nature of their protest

"A number of groups came to the ground to carry out their lawful protest and I would like to praise those fans for the way in which they behaved."

Of course, our owners own personal security people may have advised him of some perceived danger in making an appearance over the last five months. I find myself wondering though, why Derek Llambias wasn’t cautioned similarly, given that he was far more instrumental in the whole chain of events that provoked those original protests and the dissatisfaction among the fan base since.

Might it be that there was no actual threat, but that Mike Ashley hasn’t been willing to face the ire of fans? Ire that he’s been able to pay his managing director to grin through. Maybe he has the best interests of the team at heart, but if he’s been staying away to avoid generating negativity during games, then why send out a stooge that does the job just as well?

Whatever his reasoning, I can’t help but feel some sort of apology is still deserved for the fans that he has accused without any actual justification whatsoever in an ill advised (and official by the way) statement.

Debt

2009-02-13T19:42:00.009Z

This one speaks for itself. Claim and counter claim, back and forward, in debt, out of debt.

Chris Mort in May 2008...

"This club had £100million-worth of debt which has now been cleared"

Four months later Mike Ashley claimed to have invested even more, but in direct contradiction of Chris Mort, that it hadn't been enough to cover all the club debt.

"I then poured another £110 million into the club not to pay off the debt but just to reduce it. The club is still in debt. Even worse than that, the club still owes millions of pounds in transfer fees."

In January 2009 Joe Kinnear further confused matters when he assured us we were indeed debt free.

"Financially we're very sound. We don't owe a bean as far as the club are concerned"

The accounts then came out which confirmed (at least up until June 2008) we were in fact in debt.

United’s debt is £22.6m

I'll take what I'm told with a pinch of salt until the next set of accounts are released.

Due Diligence

2009-02-13T16:40:00.004Z

It's now widely accepted that Mike Ashley was so keen to buy Newcastle United that it was a deal done in days. So quickly that due diligence was a formality he could not wait for. He wanted the club no matter what. As much as people may have scoffed at such a foolish business decision, it's one that he proudly boasted of in his Chronicle interview of August 2008.

"We first heard about the potential sale on a Saturday and had done the deal by the Wednesday, so if you are asking if we did due diligence before buying then the answer has to be no."

However, looking further back, it's not quite the story that was sold to us by original Chairman Chris Mort. A year earlier, in August 2007, he was quite clear that the new owner went into the deal with his eyes wide open.

"We did the typical due diligence one would do on a public takeover. There is no sense that anyone has tried to mislead us."

I don't know which story is true. But either

They went into this with their eyes wide open as initially claimed but rather than turn it around in any way after 2 years in charge, they have still managed to increase the cost of running the club by over £14M (see the latest submitted accounts). This being the case shouldn't they share the blame?
Or the original story was created to maintain a facade of professionalism, which crumbled under the enormity of the debt which has revealed the truth, in which case you have to seriously question the wisdom of the purchase in the first place, as well as wonder what other skeletons are in the closet.